lake worth beach before the rapture that didn’t happen

18 may 2011

i walked to the beach today
to ground myself
in a place
where my giant body
is no longer a cage
of crushing
insignifance
for my pea
sized
soul.

your ghost
followed me there.
i looked over my shoulder,
& there he was.
i’ve spent more time with him now
than i ever did with you
while you were alive —
isn’t it time
to haunt someone else now,
like your killers,
or your heirs?

i sat with a good old book
woman-of-color feminist poetry
me, anzalduista,
אנזאלדויסטית
i shed tears for my sisters

who worked themselves
into the ground
wore ancient
ceremonial masks
turned themselves
into trees
crushed walls
with their names
& still
go on
existing
in the face
of disappearance.

& i know
that arab women
(מזרחיות included)
are doing the same
despite
continuous absence
from these pages.

& i keep having
to remind myself
to look at the ocean
while two different versions
of אם ננעלו
play.

& i realize
that i will never have anything
but a painful,
complicated
relationship
with any place
i love.

clouds are gathering now,
but i won’t walk back
yet.

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About mirit mizrahi

artist, writer, activist, giant. זהירות! אני מזרחית
This entry was posted in mizrahi identity, poetry. Bookmark the permalink.

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